There are 3 types of fans: Bandwagon fans, Fair-weather fans, and True fans. True Patriot fans are BORN Pats fans! Want to watch a game with a true fan? Why not create your own? Here’s how it is done:
- First you need a Mama and Papa who both have 100% Patriots Fan DNA.
- Next you must put on a New England Patriots Hoodie, to help bring out your inner Belichick. After coming up with a game plan, focus your mind on all things Patriots.
- Rub a small amount of dirt collected from Gillette Stadium, on to the woman’s belly.
- Travel to a local air pump and set the pressure to 12.5 pounds.
- Insert the air hose into the belly button and start the pump!
Within seconds, the belly will start to rise.
After 30 seconds, the belly will get nice and round.
At 45 seconds, ask the woman how she is feeling. (You want me to keep going?)
The woman in the example wanted to create her version of Gronk, so she took over the air and braced herself! The man got ready for the important reception.
At the 1 minute mark, an explosion will occur!
The Smoke will clear immediately, and faster than a first down pass to Edelman, your new Patriots fan will hit you in right in the hands. (Do not drop!!!)
In this example, the perfect fan was created, entering this world in his red New England Patriot onesie! Benjamin Alexander- 9 lbs. 7oz. Born on 8/17/2015 right before the football season!
After the catch was made, Benjamin had two questions: What time is the game on?…and Who is bringing the milk? From then on, Mama and Papa never watched another Pats game alone again!
bornapatsfan.com 